Grammar lessons unlearnt

I’m in London for eye work, and so far all I can read are the headlines. Like this one: “Chelsea sit pretty after ugly victory over United.” I thought, well, sports page, you know, they left off the “s” on sits. Then this one: “England need a back-up plan to counter their forward failings.” Why not “needs”? And then “Battling Chelsea are sitting pretty.”

I got it! Sports teams are plural! Our sports teams may or may not be plural – we would say “Yankees are sitting pretty,” but we would never say “New York need a back-up plan.”

As all of my great insights, this one are completely useless for any known constructive purpose and wholly lacking any commercial possibilities entirely. In short, it can’t be “monetized,” and if something can’t be monetized, what good are it?